I received a video call from a person who had a question as to why he had been experiencing guilt for the past 8 years. His story goes like this – My father was an alcoholic. Everyone around him advised him to give up his alcohol addiction. Nevertheless, he would follow it for a few days and then start drinking again shortly thereafter. Even the doctor stated that if he continues to drink alcohol in this manner, his liver will get damaged in a few years, necessitating a total cost of 22 lakhs and the need for a new liver, which will require a new donor.
During one of those days, I found an anti-drinking advertisement in the newspaper that read, ‘Say NO to alcohol’ and ordered medications from there. I started giving it to my father in a way that he would not know and he died after about a week. To this day, I feel that my father died as a result of those medicines and that it was my fault because I gave them to him. My father would still be alive if I hadn’t given him that medication.”
Now that person has been struggling with this issue since someone in his family blamed him for his father’s death.
My first question to him was whether he was a believer or an atheist.
He referred to himself as a believer and that he has complete faith in God. Thus I made one thing certain to him: the time of our birth and death has already been determined by God. Another thing is that he deliberately didn’t give him medications in order to kill him. He gave him medicines for his health’s sake. Furthermore, I explained that the house where he resides costs 25 lakhs; so if his father was still alive, then the house would have to be sold to fund his surgery. Additionally, even if the matching liver is found and the surgery is performed, however, there is no guarantee that the body will accept the liver. The body might not accept that liver and then he may have to watch his father die despite all the efforts.
Now when it comes to feelings of guilt, let me give you an example: When the Indian cricket team loses a match, people hold the captain accountable. If there is a car accident, the driver is to blame and if a corporation incurs losses, the CEO is held responsible for it.
I explained, “In your situation, you are the captain, the driver and the CEO. Don’t pay too much attention to what people say. Put an end to this tumour-like guilt in your brain and move on with your life. This tumour is a sort of gangrene, and the rot will only grow in size with time. Do not dwell on the past, but rather focus on the bright future.”
– Niraj K Viraddiya
