HABIT 4: I’M TRYING TO “THINK WIN/WIN”
The concept of Win/Win, the 4th habit in Stephen
Covey’s book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, provided an interesting insight to me. This is the concept that in order to get the best results – at work, in interpersonal relationships, etc. we all need to win. Instead of thinking of life as a competition (I win, you lose – or just, I win), we should think of it as a collaboration (I win AND you win). Instead of personally trying to get the best results regardless of others, we should persevere and communicate in order to create
the best output for all, not just for ourselves. This can create the most productive situation over the long term.
S. Covey refers to six different paradigms of interaction:
•Win/Win
•Win/Lose
•Lose/Win
•Lose/Lose
•Win
•Win/Win or No Deal
We don’t always see that our way is not the best use of time and energy. I myself have often felt like a peacekeeper and would sometimes find it easier to let someone with whom I was disagreeing have their way as long as it wasn’t too disadvantageous to me (or the world) or to my values. I’d know that I can still respect
myself, even if I don’t appear productive to the rest of the world.
I’ve learned from Stephen Covey’s book that this is actually practicing a Win/Lose philosophy. That is: you win, I lose. As a peacekeeping philosophy, it can be effective in the short term. However, it may not be the best for society (or the specific workplace, or the relationship) as a whole. In addition, a lingering sense of
resentment (or even just a bad taste about the solution) may not be noticed in the short term, but can deteriorate the relationship over time. Better to have the courage and commitment to let my voice be heard, and work harder towards a Win/Win solution.
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